Wouldn’t it be great if you and your spouse had a beautiful private garden that only the two of you could access? A garden filled with your favorite plants and flowers that filled the place with such a rich aroma that you became intoxicated with one another every time you entered? One that had enchanting walkways that led to pleasant pastures where you enjoy lingering or to a patio covered with vine plants that shaded you just enough so that you could comfortably lounge in chairs close enough to reach out and pick the exotic fruits growing on the vines?

Figuratively, couples have opportunities throughout their lives to create this kind of garden together. There are “Garden Times” and “Garden Moments” when this garden oasis is cultivated.

"Garden Times" are specific, regular, intentional times when a couple gets away together to enhance and enjoy each other; while "Garden Moments" are the brief moments and small encounters a couple may have throughout the day, week, or month.

Gardens require maintenance just as marriages and relationships do. How you care for the garden and how you care for your marriage directly correlates to how much you will be able to enjoy it.

2 things a garden and your marriage needs to grow healthy and strong.

1. ATTENTION

You must pay attention to what you bring into the garden and what you bring into your marriage. If you want a fragrant garden then you might bring in a Gardenias or a Star Jasmine vine.  Kindness, fondness, and forgiveness are actions that, like a calming fragrance, bring pleasantness to your relationship. You certainly do not want to bring in weeds or anything else that will kill the beauty of the garden. In your marriage, this could be resentment, bitterness, or lack of forgiveness.

We also have to pay attention to unwanted critters that get into the garden and try to wreak havoc like gophers or weasels of the animal or humankind.  They only cause trouble and leave the garden a mess. It requires so much more effort to repair the damage these destroyers can make.

2. AFFECTION 

Affection for a garden can be shown in how you care for it, how you speak about it, and how much you invest in it. If you truly love and delight in something, you give the greatest of care to it and you speak fondly and in the best terms, and you invest your time and money into it. You care if something is out of place and you respond to it.

If couples could think of their time together as either enhancing or destroying their garden, perhaps they would be more intentional about what they bring into their garden and how they treat their relationship and each other. When you spend time with your spouse today, pay attention to unkind words or unkind gestures like rolling your eyes or giving an exasperating sigh. Say something kind that is affirming and supportive and do something kind that they would recognize and appreciate.

You are the full-time gardener. What does your garden look like?