3 A's of Communicating for Connection

Effective communication with your spouse requires listening not just with your ears but with your heart and feelings so that you can empathize and respond with compassion and accountability that leads to a real heart connection. View 3 A's Video

The first “A” is to:
Acknowledge what the heart and feelings are saying.  Get to know and truly understand what your spouse thinks and feels.  The first step in good communication is to really understand what is being said.  If you don’t pay attention to the feelings and the emotions behind the words, you will likely fail to hear what is really being said.

The second “A” is to:
Accept your responsibility no matter how small.   If you are responsible for something that has affected your spouse, it is the reasonable thing to do to take 100% responsible for it. If you are only 5% responsible then take 100% responsibility for that part of it without trying to justify it with the other 95% for which you hold no responsibility.

The third and final “A” is to:
Advance toward connection and do something! Take the required steps to cross the bridge of connection over the canyon of contempt.  When you become aware of what your spouse believes you have done to hurt their feelings and cause disconnection by acknowledging their feelings,  accepting responsibility for what you have done, committing to and advancing toward doing something about it, you will reach the pinnacle of connection where you both want to be.

Harry Robinson

Harry has been an ordained pastor since 2005 where he served at Capo Beach Church as the Family Ministry pastor and in Pastoral Care.  In 2014, he served as the Discipleship pastor at Mission Viejo Christian Church. Before being ordained, Harry worked for 14 years in the corporate world for Gateway Computers and Armor All Products managing business development and marketing. Harry has an M.A. in Pastoral Counseling from Liberty University and a B.S. in Psychology & Social Science from Vanguard University.

He is a Chaplain for the Orange County Fire Authority (OCFA). Since 2011, he has been the President of Pillars, a non-profit ministry providing support and counseling to families to bring them into rich relational encounters.  He’s been married to his college sweetheart, Carmen, since 1989 and has four children – two sons, two daughters, 4 grandsons, and 1 granddaughter.

http://www.pillarscounseling.com
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