"A New Path: Finding Renewal Through Surrender and Faith"
Forget the former things, do not dwell in the past. See, I am doing a new thing!
Few groups throughout history have experienced the depths of oppression, loss, and destruction quite like the Israelites. While I may not personally identify with the struggles they faced in 700 B.C., I do find solace and inspiration in the timeless words of hope delivered to them through the prophet Isaiah. In the midst of their darkest moments, God's message of comfort and redemption rings true, transcending time and offering a glimmer of hope even in our own lives today.
“Forget the former things, do not dwell in the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now, it springs up; Do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:18-19)
In my own life, I have experienced a series of losses that have profoundly impacted my spirit. The pain and suffering that followed each loss seemed insurmountable at times. The year 1994 marked the heartbreaking loss of my mother, who succumbed to ovarian cancer at the age of 52. Following that, in 2005, I had to bid farewell to my father, taken by esophageal cancer at 63. The year 2008 brought with it the collapse of my 20-year marriage, leading to the foreclosure of our cherished home, which we had called our sanctuary for our four children for 17 years. As if that wasn't enough, in 2017, a deep betrayal severed a friendship that had been cherished for over two decades. These losses left me feeling completely shattered, but the final blow was yet to come. Discovering that my child was grappling with drug addiction shattered my identity as a "good mom”.
These years of loss, one after another, gradually eroded my sense of self. The grief and depression that enveloped me were not instantaneously inflicted but rather seeped into my being over time. It felt as though I had become unworthy of love, and this deep pain clouded my ability to see anything good around me.
“Forget the former things, do not dwell in the past. See, I am doing a new thing.” (Isaiah 43;18)
Forgetting such trauma felt impossible, as each loss left a lasting impact on my spirit. The longing to be in the presence of my parents, the feelings of abandonment and inadequacy after my divorce, the anger and resentment from betrayal, and the guilt surrounding my parenting failures are all incredibly difficult emotions to bear.
During the healing process, I encountered an important realization-dwelling in the past was draining me of the joy that is essential for loving God, others, and myself. It became clear that in order to experience the new things that God promised his chosen people, I needed to open my eyes to his goodness and find my way through the wilderness of despair. The journey towards finding the refreshing streams of living water, where joy resides, can feel overwhelming and challenging. Loss is an unfortunate and inevitable part of life, and it can leave us feeling lost in the wilderness. It is a place that tests our resilience and pushes us to seek a way out, desperately yearning for the renewed sense of joy that once graced our lives. Please know that you are not alone in this struggle.
Surrender
I found myself at a crossroads, facing two choices that would shape the course of my life: surrender to the enemy or surrender to God. It was a profound moment of decision, one that carried immense weight and consequences.
To surrender to the enemy meant relinquishing my armor, allowing myself to be vulnerable and defenseless. It meant handing over the reins of control to the enemy, willingly becoming a prisoner to self-pity and victimhood. This surrender would have led me deeper into a dark and desolate wilderness, where failure, brokenness, anxiety, and depression would hold sway over my existence. The enemy offered no path to freedom, only a bleak landscape where despair seemed to be the only truth. I unknowingly surrendered to this enemy for many years, my hope for fulfillment turning into an unquenchable thirst that could not be satisfied.
It was during this time that I realized the gravity of my surrender, and how it had led me into a state of exile, far removed from the guiding presence of God. I felt disconnected and distant, living in a spiritual wilderness that seemed devoid of light and hope.
However, it was through this realization that I began to understand the alternative choice before me. I had the option to surrender to God, to place my trust in Him.
“I am making a new way in the wilderness.”
God does not desire for me to live a life shrouded in darkness, captive to the lies of depression orchestrated by Satan. His intention for me is to live in the light of His truth, to experience a life of prosperity and abundance. He longs for me to be filled with hope, to believe in a future that holds great promise. Above all, God wants me to intimately encounter and embrace His goodness.
In response to this understanding, I made the deliberate choice to surrender to Jesus. I called out to Him, pleading for His rescue, and in His unfailing love, He answered me, saying, "Here I am." It was through His divine intervention that I found liberation from the chains that bound me. He guided me out of the desolate wilderness, leading me towards a life-giving stream where my thirst could be quenched.
Surrendering to Jesus meant acknowledging my brokenness and recognizing my desperate need for a Savior. It entailed confessing that God is the creator of all things and that apart from Him, I am incapable of true transformation. In His infinite mercy, Jesus cleansed my wounded spirit with His precious blood, forever binding me to a life of forgiveness, grace, mercy, hope, joy, happiness, and love.
The Goodness of God
I personally made the choice to surrender to God, inviting Him to reign as Lord over every aspect of my life. In doing so, He graciously opened my eyes to His goodness and the incredible beauty and goodness that He has bestowed upon me. It was a profound revelation that left me in awe.
With this newfound awareness, I began to witness a new thing springing up in my life. God was at work, paving a path through the wilderness, leading me towards the abundant streams of living water. This journey is not without challenges or uncertainties, but I hold steadfast in my determination to keep following Him.
I have come to understand that God's presence and guidance are vital as I navigate through life. He is faithfully making a way for me, even in the midst of trials and tribulations. All I need to do is remain steadfast and obedient, putting my trust and faith in Him every step of the way.
“One thing I do know: I was blind, and now I can see.” John 9:25
A New Thing
In closing, reflecting on the trials in my life has taught me invaluable lessons about what I truly need in the present moment. In the past, I may have sought validation, security, and love from external sources. However, the trials have revealed that what is truly necessary for me now is a complete reliance on God. It is through placing unwavering faith in Him, seeking truth in His word, accepting His forgiveness, embracing His grace and mercy, and experiencing His constant presence that I find fulfillment and purpose. Above all, fostering an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, my Savior, has become an essential part of my journey. I am constantly being renewed day by day in Him, and this steadfast determination is what propels me forward. I refuse to give up because I know that with God by my side, I am capable of overcoming any challenge that comes my way.
