"Emotional Attunement: The Key to Reviving and Nourishing a Relationship."

Couples fall in love, get married, and are so happy. Unfortunately, life and busyness can sour the relationship and it's difficult to believe that these two people ever liked one another. What happened?

One reason is missing one another's emotional queues. When we feel something it's very important to us. It may be worry, anxiety, or something joyful that we want to share. When our spouse misses that, it's disappointing to us. If they continue to not connect with our emotions, then resentment begins to foster. 

The remedy is to try to get into the other's emotion. There might be no interest or understanding. But we need to learn to catch their emotions. How do we do that? We need to pause our agenda, sit down and listen. If it's not a good time, say so and come back to it. We still might not get their enthusiasm or their worry, but to give them this attention is huge.

Emotions are caught. When we listen to our spouse expound on what's on their mind, then we begin to get it. We start to experience their emotions. It takes time, but slowing down, listening, and interacting with their story will spark their emotions in us and a greater connection begins.

This investment in your spouse pays big dividends. They will respond with much love. It may take some time to build this trust. 

We may also experience the same frustration, as our spouse may not connect with our emotions. They need to do the same thing with us. As they listen to what animates us, they also renew connections. 

    I can recall working with clients and explaining the concept of connecting with the other's emotions. In one sense it was like learning a skill. I was teaching them to speak Hannah or Bill. How rewarding it is to be a student of one's spouse. This is a worthwhile investment. The marriage blossoms and the children benefit.

Good luck in practicing this skill.

If you and your spouse would like to enrich your emotional attunement, I would be delighted to help in this endeavor. If interested, please take the time and schedule an appointment today! - Jim